Fork (second Ode to Jim)

By Sally

Gosh, here I am shimmy and smooth, my spiked hairdo is just flattering to me. I’ve had people pick me up and just look at my spikes. I’m so happy they like me.

I’m here among several of my brothers and sisters. They all have spike hairdos too. Some of them look kind of frazzled. I suppose that’s what happens when you get older. But here I am, young and ready to go for it.

Oh, oh! Here comes the “HAND.” It’s reaching for me. All right, here I go. Yeah! My first assignment. I’m so excited.

Okay. I’m up and running, being carried across the room, heading for . . . a . . . I don’t know what it is! Hey, I’m nice and shinny. Don’t stick me into that, that, whatever it is! Oh, boy. I’ve hit something hard. They’re pushing on me. I don’t like to be pushed! I’m sinking. Help! My spike hairdo is getting all messed up. Stop! Oh stop! What am I surrounded by? Some wet stuff is seeping around my spikes. I’m drowning!

Now where am I going? Up, up. What is that? A cave? It looks dark. What are those white things? Some of them look like saws. I’m going in. Help someone? I’m afraid of the dark. Help! Those white things are coming down on me. It’ gonna hurt. I know it’s gonna hurt. What is that smell? Yuck! What was in this cave? It’s horrible. I . . . I think I’m going to pass out. Oh that smell is so strong. I never smelled anything like that before.

Oh my gosh! The cave is opening. Yeah, I’m being taken out. Oh! Oh! Fresh air! I can see! It’s light again. Let me breathe that fresh air. Ohhhh! Here I go again into that hard stuff. No! No! Not back into the cave. That’s it! I’ve had it. I’m going to pass out.

A little while later . . .

Oh, my. I feel funny. I feel yucky. Look, I’m going swimming. Suds, suds everywhere. It feels so good. Ouch! Oh my, ouch. What are they scraping me with? Ahhh My spike hairdo feels nice again. Oh, boy! Now where are they taking me? Into the basket of another cave. Oh these are some of my friends and family. I hear a slam. I hear a click, click. Water, water is coming at me from all directions. It’s so strong. It’s picking me up and dropping me, shooting in my face. Oh, my hair. It’ll never be the same. I’m doomed. I know I am doomed. Just doomed!

September 2014

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