I smile, or at least I try to, even when I’m not feeling well, and that’s unfortunately much of the time. My smile conveys to others the joy that there is in living, in being a part of this wondrous earth, surrounded by friends and sometimes family. My smiles are neither forced nor false; they are as spontaneous as I.
But sometimes I am sad and cannot smile. Or I am in terrible pain, a very real and constant part of my disease. Then it’s hard. Live is hard and I’m hurting, not sleeping, having a hard time thinking about anything – except my pain.
Emily Dickinson wrote:
PAIN has an element of blank;
It cannot recollect
When it began, or if there were
A day when it was not.
But…. When pain subsides – what joy! Joy in being able to enjoy, once again the beauty of life, of friendships, of love. How lucky I feel – and that just makes me smile.