Happy Days

By Jim

I worked most of my life for new car dealership parts departments. One of the places I worked on the retail/wholesale counter. It was all young guys, or younger than me. When they would walk in back of us, they would stick a pipe or tube or a finger in our backs, and say, “This is a stick up” or “This is a ______up. Give me your money” or things like that. I would yell at them, but they did this almost every day. They would laugh and kid around. I told them I came there to make money, not to kid around. More laughter. I said, “You guys are a bunch of clowns. They thought that was funny.

One Friday, we got paid late, so I hurried to the bank. My next stop was a convenience store, like 7-11, to pick up my 6-pack of beer. The store was crowded, but I tried it. I walked to the back of the store, and saw two other guys looking for the same thing. All of a sudden I heard, “Hands in the air.” I thought, “Oh no, the clowns are here: I turned around and saw the gun. The guy with the shotgun was real tall, they guy with him was short. A lady in the next isle was screaming. The shorter guy went over to quiet her down.

The tall guy said to the cashier, “Hurry up.” Then he said to us, “Put your wallets on the shelf.” The other guys put their wallets on the shelf; I was a little slow. I had just gotten paid and I didn’t want to give up my money. He pointed the gun at me and said, “You heard me.”

I put my wallet on the shelf. He took the money from the cashier, and said, “This is your lucky day.” He said something to the short guy and they ran out the door.

I picked up my wallet and the 6-pack and walked to the door. I gave the cashier a five dollar bill and said, “Keep the change.” He kinda smiled. Just as I walked out the door, the cops showed up. I put the 6-pack in the front seat of my car.

The officer must have asked me a hundred questions. He asked me about the gun. “What kind was it?” All I could think of was “BIG.” “Are you sure it was real?” “Didn’t want to find out,” I said.

After a while he said, “Your beer is getting warm.” He lifted the yellow tape. “You can go.”

I drove home, and as I walked in the house my wife said, “How was your day?” I said, “You wouldn’t believe it!”

April 2016