Who was I? Who am I now?
Before I was independent, not needing anyone. Girlfriends had long faded into the past. I had my share of adventure, but that became mundane. Living life on the spur of the moment, doing what I wanted to do even if it just presented itself. Freedom, freedom, so sweet the taste.
I could go anywhere, do most anything. If I didn’t feel like it, I could do nothing at all. Water skiing, skydiving, 4-wheeling. Drinking, smoking, playing darts until the wee hours. All that changed in a few minutes. It was suggested that I should have a good cry about it.
HELL – A GOOD CRY? Feel sorry for myself? BULL!!!
Now I rely on others to take me to places. Now I sit at home and wish that I could go to Albertsons, just to see others, talk to other shoppers, to mingle. Being alone never bothered me before, but being forced to be overwhelms my spirit.
I’m told that therapy will return me to that carefree state, but there are no guarantees. So now I sit and wonder, hope, and wish. But never cry.
There are groups that help out self abusers like myself. I never knew they existed … till now. Groups who will deliver groceries to your home (for a small fee). Groups that will drive you to doctors’ appointments, or grocery stores, for free. Groups that provide legal advice for free. And many more things. And they are not government agencies. They are friendly, helpful people who give a dam about their fellow man. Angels in human disguise.