My son Zach loves fishing. So on one of my two weeks in the summer I decided to take him to San Diego to go deep sea fishing. We flew out there. It was his first time on a plane and he was thrilled. We settled into our hotel and tried to get ready for the next day. We decided to out for pizza that night so we got in the rental car a drove along the Pacific Coast highway in search of a pizza place. I came up upon an intersection with a 4 way stop sign. There was a police car parked alongside the road. I pulled up, stopped, then proceeded. We hadn’t gotten far when the interior of my car was lit-up by red and blue lights. I pulled over as did the policeman. He approached my car and said I had run the stop sign. I argued but to no avail. He asked for my license, registration and proof of insurance. I gave what paperwork I had and said it was a rental car. He studied the documents for a while then asked, “Is this car really called a Dodge Dynasty?” I replied, “Officer I only rented it I didn’t name it.” Zach just rolled his eyes and said, “Dad you just talked your way into a ticket.” Sure enough the cop gave me a ticket. I asked how much it would cost me he replied, “420 dollars.” I took the ticket and continued on, having no intension of paying it of course. I live in Arizona where men are men and so are the women. About 4 years later I received a letter stating that since I didn’t pay or appear in court, a warrant was issued for me. I have never gone back to California again. Who knows, after this much time, I’d probably be looking at the death penalty.
We continued on looking for a pizza place when I happened to drive past Camp Pendleton. It was a weekend night and the ladies of the evening were gathered outside the gate, at least 5 deep. As we drove past Zach’s eyes widened. “Dad those women are half naked!!” “I know Zach, we’ll talk about it later.” (Much, much later I hoped. Perhaps years, I thought to myself.) After all, how do you explain the world’s oldest profession to a nine year old? We finally found a pizza place, ate and returned to our hotel. I took a different way back to avoid the Marine base and the police. We got back to the hotel and watched a pay-per-view movie about giant spiders attacking Los Angles (it couldn’t happen to a nicer city). I hoped they moved on to San Diego and Oceanside. We then got ready to go to sleep in preparation for the next day.
We awoke at 4 am and headed down to the wharf. Zach had a great time and caught many fish. I spent the day drowning worms. It’s been said that I couldn’t catch a cold. You know I don’t miss California. The water is cold and dirty, and the police most unfriendly. Perhaps the next trip will be to Florida.