A Day In The Life

by Dennis

I had a few things happen to me last week that I think were amusing, perhaps even funny. So I decided to write about them and hope you too will enjoy a delightful and much needed relief from the “woes to me” trash you’ve heard from me so often before.

I went to the Circle K store near my home to buy some cigarettes (I know, I know. I don’t wish to talk about it.) I brought the cigarettes and paid with my debit card. I was about to leave when I remembered the cigarette lighter was old and probably near empty. Rather than incur another charge, I asked for some matches. I was told, “We don’t have any.” “What?” I asked. “We don’t have them and we can’t order them ‘cause the warehouse doesn’t stock them anymore.” My thoughts as too why went immediately to fire hazard in the store or warehouse, employees getting hurt or worse, property damage, children getting them and causing a fire that may hurt them and could threaten lives. I asked without thinking, “Why?” “Because the company says we make a profit on selling Bic lighters rather than giving away matches.” Forgive me Southland Corp. for thinking you would do the noble thing instead of acting solely for profit.

Another was all my doing. Upon my occupational therapist’s advice, I was to go back to cooking instead of relying on frozen dinners and pizzas. Now because I can no longer drive I get my groceries delivered by Safeway. Well I ordered online 2 lbs. of onions, 2 lbs. of red potatoes, and 3 lbs. of cabbage. Well got a 2.75 lb. cabbage, which was fine. But not 2 Ibs. of onions and potatoes, but two onions and two little potatoes. I don’t know why the cabbage came out right and the onions and potatoes wrong, but I thought it was funny. I’ll contact Safeway to see what I did wrong, but I don’t think I’ll be able to keep a straight face.

January, 2013

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