Monthly Archives: February 2018

How Many ____________ Does It Take to Change a Light Bulb?

By Sally

Let’s see – a light bulb located on a high ceiling needs to be changed. Let’s see how many electricians it takes to do this:

  1. An electrician flips the switch to see if it works. When the light doesn’t go on he says, “It must be the bulb.” He calls another electrician to get a ladder.
  2. The ladder is brought and set up. He then goes up the ladder to remove the bulb.
  3. The bulb is given to another electrician to get a new one.
  4. The electrician holding the ladder leaves to go to lunch.
  5. Another electrician takes his place. The electrician gets tired of waiting for the new bulb and takes a coffee break.
  6. When the electrician can’t find the right bulb he calls to another for help.
  7. Upon finding the correct bulb, he returns to the ladder and finds the first electrician gone. So he calls another electrician and gives him the bulb because it’s time for him to go home.
  8. Upon waiting with the bulb, the one holding the ladder is getting sleepy and goes for a break, calling for another electrician to hold the ladder.
  9. The first electrician returns from his coffee break and checks the bulb, noting that it’s the wrong color and sends it back.
  10. About half an hour later an electrician returns with the light bulb, stating the previous electrician had to go home sick.
  11. The electrician holding the ladder suddenly feels faint and another electrician is called to hold the ladder.
  12. The first electrician really doesn’t want to climb the ladder again so calls for another who drinks all the time.
  13. When the new electrician arrives he climbs the ladder and replaces the bulb. When he gets back down the second ladder holder doesn’t know where the ladder came from so he calls for another electrician to take back the ladder. He, also not knowing where it belongs, folds it up and leaves it against the wall.
  14. When two electricians pass by the ladder they pick it up and walk away, taking the ladder with them. Where they took it to, I don’t know. Ask the electrician!

December 2017

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How We Look at It

By Sally

I was led to write about prosperity. What I was to write, I didn’t know.

As I thought about it, and looked up a few definitions, I kind of got my answer. When we hear the word prosperity we (most of us) immediately think of wealth – money, homes, etc. But that’s not the whole story.

We don’t need to be wealthy, rich, to be prosperous. It’s more our state of mind. Yep, that’s right. There are many ways, if you stop and think, that we are all prosperous.

  • Having a caring, helping family – children that have become honest and reliable – is being a prosperous parent. Being a grandmother/grandfather that your children can still come to, or even your grandchildren. If they are not doing that now, just give them a little time and prayer, and they will.
  • You may not have a big, beautiful home, but you do have a place to live, even if it’s only a one room place.
  • Did you ever stop to think how things came about, and how you were able to overcome your hardships? That’s being prosperous in life.

I could go on for 100 pages to bring things to your memory that you have been through and succeeded in, even the minor things, that don’t seem like much, but you came out of in good shape. Blessings you received when you needed them.

So you see, we often misuse words to go in one direction, not always the right way. And don’t forget, in every situation that arises, we have our choice as to what to do. We are not bound by a one way street, and we can make a U-turn at any time.

What? You say it’s too late. Guess what? It’s not! As long as you are breathing it’s not too late. It’s your determination to do so that will make the difference in your life. If you don’t know where to state, start with asking God for your direction. Don’t know God? All you need to do is call out to Him, and He’ll answer you. Believe me, I know. I’m not rich by a long shot, nor in excellent health, but I still consider myself prosperous in life because, even though I had to change my life style in certain areas, I’m still here, alive to enjoy the many things God has given me.

I am prosperous!

December 2017

I’m all writ out

By Leslie

I’ve been co-editing an AAP journal for a number of years. Each month I review, edit, and often write an editorial regarding the article to be published. The work is time-consuming, but rewarding. And, at the very least, it keeps my knowledge very up-to-date . . . and certainly keeps my neuron synapses buzzing.

The quality of the contributions varies greatly – from well-written, clever, and sometimes almost amusing commentaries, to, you guessed it, commentaries that just plain “miss the mark,” to put it mildly.

This month was no different, but, for a number of reasons, the number of articles was greater, and so was the work, with the unfortunate complications of major difficulties in “cyber space.” But, as of today, they will be done – well almost.

Thence the call in one week with my co-editor to review and prioritize all articles. But the hard work is done.

So, you see, I am “all writ out,” and all I can do is wish everyone A JOYOUS HOLIDAY AND HEALTHY NEW YEAR.

December 2017

What Was That?

By Sally

I was dog sitting and had to get up at 5 AM to let the dogs outside before it got too hot for them, usually bringing them back in around 9-9:30. After letting them out, I usually go back to bed.

Last night, or should I say morning, I heard a sound go over the house – very strong, loud and smooth, not like a plane that has variation in its engine sounds, but more like a hum, a steady, unwavering sound, steady without variation.

I lay there listening, trying to recognize the source, but I couldn’t. As I tried, many ideas went through my mind. Was it a plane, a new type of plane? A missile? A meteor? (Not that I know what a missile or a meteor would sound like). But these things did go through my thoughts. Not coming to an answer, I was pretty sure it wasn’t an aircraft.

I listened as it came into the atmosphere of where I was, and passed through, hearing its sound, mild the strong, stronger and louder, still without any vibration or variation – a steady hum-like noise.

As it passed over on its way, I listened ‘til it faded out of my hearing, which was a while since it was so strong and powerful. I finally fell back asleep.

I texted my daughter. She starts work at 5 AM in mirror lab at the U of A, to see if she heard or knew of anything. Unfortunately, because of their location, under the football stadium, they don’t hear anything.

She asked a few others who didn’t get to work ‘til later if they heard anything. One co-worker said she did hear something. That made me feel better!

I guess growing up in the WWII era, having to hide every time a plane flew over, has made me aware of unusual noises. Actually, I wake up at any noise – force of habit, I guess.

I turned on the news, and no word. “Of course,” I thought, “There won’t be anything about it if it’s different. They need to investigate and get their stories and explanation straight.” Just like the time my dad worked at White Sands, New Mexico. You didn’t hear about any not-normal things ‘til 10 years later! But you knew, ‘because you were there. And even though you didn’t have actual knowledge, you knew things happened.

I wish I would have gone outside with the dogs to see the sky. My mistake. But I’ll be sure if anything like that happens again, I will run out with my camera. I could kick myself for not doing it this time. But, you know, there may have been no lights to see what was happening, just the sound – the sound of a long, constant hum.

September 2017

Happy New Year!

By Leslie

Yesterday my husband went to a New Year’s dinner party, and although there were some positive moments, they were rare. Negative comments about Banner-UMC, our schools, our “leader” dominated the discussion.

Now, had I been able to attend, I, a generally private person about my health, would have pointed out the excellent diagnostic and therapeutic care I received this past year when breast cancer was diagnosed and surgically treated. I would have commented that the schools are underfunded, yet have some incredibly dedicated teachers – and volunteers – such as my husband.

And most apropos at this moment, I would have pointed out the sunshine and warmth in which we are currently bathed in Tucson. Admittedly, we deserve it after five long months of torrid, often triple digit weather. But – what’s fair is fair!

And despite my increased disability which so restricts and frustrates me, I am the recipient of such largesse – from friends, colleagues and family. Everything from the littlest to larger gifts surprise and delight me – from socks to sipping chocolate and books, from plants to pajamas, and more.

Maybe, just maybe, it is time to say Happy New Year and count our blessings – even as we work towards enabling others to share those blessings as well!

January 2018

haiku

by kat

goodbye seventeen
good riddance is what i mean
may eighteen bring peace

January 2018

WUIC

By Sinned

I was at home last week working on the computer for the group. My TV was on with no sound. I only use it to keep me company. It was tuned to a cable news channel showing the Donald Trump rally in Chicago. There were supporters, protesters, and police there. The clashed, and reminded me in a very small way, of the Democratic Convention of 1968. What really got my attention was the venue. It was being held at UIC campus – the University of Illinois at Chicago. Hey, that’s my school!!! The one I attended and graduated from. The cameras scoured the streets showing a parking garage. The camera panned to the right and showed a building. “That’s the BSB building,” I yelled out, although there was no one to hear.

BSB stood for Biological Studies Building. Now the BSB held nothing for me. My science goals had disappeared long ago, but in the building, down deep in its bowels, were the studios of WUIC, the college radio station. Myself and a friend and classmate, Rodney, both got a job there. “A Job” – I use the term loosely. We were interns. We were given the morning show – 7am to 11am, I as the host and Rodney as my engineer. Let me get this out of the way – no pun or joke intended – Rodney’s full name was Rodney Watts. He must have been meant for this.

So there we were – a 5,000 WATT radio station awash in a sea full of 50,000 WATT stations. The format was chosen by the station manager. It consisted of playing 20 year old National Public Radio tapes of the “Grand Ole Opry.” I mean Earnest Tubbs and Minnie Pearle, and other people you probably never heard of. 5000 WATTS! As we used to joke, on a clear day you could hear us all the way across the street.

So we started our job. The music was so terrible that we only checked our headphones once in awhile to make sure the tape had not broken. Soon we conspired to make the show a little more relevant. After all, Country and Western music in the inner city? It started small. I would play some records from home during the top and bottom of the hour when we paused for station ID, news and weather – The Doors, Kinks, Jefferson Airplane, etc. We got no reaction. The phones sat quietly on our desks. We then decided to give less than accurate weather reports like . . . “It will be mostly dark tonight, turning light by morning” or “Today’s high will be in the mid 40s, so if you are in your mid 40s go out and get high” or “The extended forecast Tuesday through the rest of the week is, Chicago will have no weather at all.” Still no reaction. The phones remained silent. No one was listening, we agreed it was clear. My wife used to listen, but she said after a week that, hearing that voice coming over the radio that was the same one she would hear in our darkened bedroom at night was just too creepy, and she tuned out. At least that was what she said.

We added fictitious news reports like, “There is a traffic jam on the Dan Ryan Expressway, and traffic is backed up to Pennsylvania” or “The US Corps of Engineers are going to drain Lake Michigan and construct a walkway from Chicago to Ottawa, so Illinois folks can avoid Wisconsin speed traps.” The phones still silently stared at us. Was anybody out there? Hey, Federal Communications Commission, do you hear this nonsense we are broadcasting?

In desperation we started a contest akin to “Name that Tune” so popular years previously done by other stations. We tried using such songs as “Happy Birthday” and “Home on the Range” with the same results. We tried to convince ourselves that the prize, a copy of that day’s show, could account for the lack of interest. Finally, we tried our last hope. We offered a week’s vacation, including airfare, to Tahiti. We assumed that would be attractive in mid January. The song chosen was “The Star Spangled Banner.” Rodney and I just rolled our eyes as nothing happened. Suddenly the phone rang! We looked at each other, eyes full of hope, fear and anticipation. Rodney picked it up. He said “Yes” a few times, then “OK,” and hung up. He looked at me and said the station manager wanted to see us in his office as soon as our non-annotated show was over. We went to the office with the strains of Marty Robbins’s “Down in the West Texas town of El Paso” still ringing in our ears.

He sat us down and firmly explained to us that we were unauthorized to hold such a contest and we put the station, the university, indeed the state of Illinois in a financially libel situation. Then he fired us and banned us from the WUIC studios in the future.

A few months after this, I graduated from the university, and flew to Tucson in search of a job. I was certain my exploits at WUIC had not preceded me. I applied for work at every radio and TV station in the city. Every one of them expressed no interest. Even the TV stations, where I not only submitted my resume, but also a proposal for a new aerobic exercise show I came up with called, “Little or No Sweat Aerobics,” the premise of which was – every time you feel like exercising, you should lay down ‘til the feeling passes. After so many rejections I began to see the sun setting on my broadcasting career future, and I had to get a “normal” job. As Ray Davies wrote:

Everybody’s a dreamer and everyone a star
And everybody is in show biz, it doesn’t matter who you are.
But those who are successful, be always on your guard,
‘Cause success walks hand-in-hand with failure down Hollywood Boulevard.

April 2016