Short Shorts

By Jim

August 8, 2009

  1. Getting off the bus, a young man standing looking at me was thinking, “Oh, no! This old codger is getting off here?” Even with my cane, I still had trouble with the steps. His brain was saying, “Why me?”
  2. I walked in the coffee shop this morning. A man very well dressed with a suit and tie looked up at me as I said, “Good Morning.” He replied, “Uumpf.” I could tell it would be a good day.
  3. I have so many thoughts I can’t write them all down, but some days no thoughts at all.
  4. Have you bought anything lately that didn’t say, “Made in China?” My shoes, pants, shirts, this pen, the paper, the radio, the TV, the rug, the lamp, the table, the bed. Oh, wait, here’s something. . .  it’s an onion!
  5. I was house sitting, what a beautiful place! Wood floors, open beam ceilings, huge rooms, back yard like a jungle. Inside the walls have lots of pictures and switches. So many switches. It was fun to turn them on and see what lit up or what fan turned on.
  6. Oh, did I tell you about THE BOOKS? Books in the living room, books in the kitchen, books in the bedrooms, even the bathrooms. Books in bookcases; books on tables, books on the floor. Books, books and more books.
 What did the owner say when she came home? “Let’s go to the library!”
  7. I had a phone call from a bill collector. The lady told me to send $17.64. I looked in my checkbook. I had already sent $22.64. I told the lady she owed me $5.00. She said, “huh?” I explained it again and she said, “Huh?” I told her to send me a bill for both amounts. She said, “What?” Click.
  8. Today, a second lady called. I told her about the first call. She said, “What?” “No,” I said, “What comes last – the two ‘huhs’ come first.” Click.
  9. Michele introduced us to Sappho, a rock and roll group from the 50s.
  10. If the reader and the writer understand each other, that’s all that counts!
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